An increasing number of transsexual youngsters are also now able to gain the support of their families. Many are transitioning while in college, and some even have the chance to transition while in high-school if their parents approve.
Such an early transition provides incredible advantages to a TS girl, because she can avoid the heavy damage to her body structure and facial features caused by male hormones during the late teens and twenties. The recently released HBIGDA Standards of Care, Version Six now support such early medical interventions in cases of intense MtF transsexualism.
By beginning anti-androgens and estrogens in her mid-teens, the TS girl's puberty can be shifted into a transition towards womanhood. Her SRS can then be done at age 18 or so. Such a TS girl can begin dating at a normal age, and share in all the experiences that other high school girls enjoy.
The Netherlands - At the forefront of the treatment of teenage GID and early transitions:
The Netherlands is in the forefront of providing for early diagnosis and treatment of cases of intense GID in children and teens. Professor Dr. Peggy Cohen-Kettenis (is klinisch psychologe en psychotherapeute bij het Medisch Centrum van de Vrije Universiteit van Amsterdam) is a major advocate for the humane treatment of children and teens who suffer from intense gender dysphoria, she developed the new protocols for treating gender dysphoric teens over a number of years in an extensive research programme. In cases such as Nicole's in the Netherlands, reversible hormone treatments can now begin early so as to delay puberty, and then cross-sex hormones can be begun at age sixteen. If all indications are positive, then SRS can be done at age eighteen.
NIELS BECAME NICOLE
"Now I am able to be whom I actually am"
Nicole Roukema is a girl of thirteen. Yet only two years she was a boy named Niels. He decided when still very young to change his gender. Together with his parents he decided to start living as a girl. Nicole feels herself a girl, and also goes out as a girl. But she will not be able to have her SRS operation until she is eighteen.
Early Years.
"It was a relief for us all, two year ago, when we got the result of the psychological investigation of Niels by the University Medical Center', says Greet Roukema, the mother of Nicole, in the living room of their Frisian home. "It was finally clear. Niels was still young, but felt that he was a girl. The medical word for her feelings was gender dysphoria. Finally there was an acknowledgement that Niels should be a girl. We could now openly talk about it. Even my husband, who had always felt strongly that Niels was a boy, reacted with 'Okay, then if it is so, it is so'.
Even when Niels was still very young Greet already noticed that he was different to her other son. "He was a quiet, gentle, devoted child, and kept to himself. When he was three years old, he wanted to be like his older sister and wear her clothes and skirts." Despite the age difference - his sister is eight years older, they always played nicely with each other. As a toddler and at school he could always be found in the doll's corner! And for his fifth birthday he want nothing but a Barbie doll. "I never found it odd, or looked too deeply into it then. It seemed normal for Niels.
Investigation.
When Niels was six he started talking about being a girl openly. He became anxious and began wetting himself at school and later at night in bed. His parents were concerned and took him to see an urologist He did all sorts of investigations, but physically he could find nothing wrong. They tried changing everything round him to see if it would help, but the problems continued.
When he was eight years old he had a psychological test, to see if there were other problems. The result was a complete surprise: "We feel that Niels would be happier as a girl." according to the psychologist of the investigation team. "We think that he is someone who may change sex and become a girl later, if he is allowed to follow his feelings.'
Girlish.
Greet said "I was frightened to death at first. I did not know that such thing existed or was possible with a male child. My husband found it very hard to accept. We said nothing to Niels at first. I began to observe him very closely. I thought that maybe it was true, and then again: 'No, it can't be!' During this period he always wanted to wear a skirt when he came home from school. As soon as he got home, he went and put on a skirt on. When my husband came home, he would make Niels take the skirt off. He hated the fact that my son liked to wear a skirt .
He told Niels not to wear a skirt again. But there were so many other things. I also tried to stop Niels playing in such a girlish manner, and to change his attitude too. He was so girlish! What could I do about this?', I thought, and I became quite desperate. I struggled with it for two years, and I even dared to tell some of my good friends about it. They felt it was unusual behaviour, but couldn't tell me how to deal with it. However they always listened to me and let me talk about it without censure."
Recognition.
Recognition of the problem came when Greet saw a TV program about children with transsexual feelings. "It was a shock of recognition. The young boys on television were just like Niels and played happily with dolls and all sorts of girl's thing. I realized then that I had to do something about it " Via the organization Berdache, (a self help group for parents of gender dysphoric children in the Netherlands), she came into contact with Professor Cohen a specialist in this area. Greet made an appointment to see her. But her doubts still remained :' Was this right for Niels?'
Looking at Photos.
We looked at photographs as Greet stood to serve the coffee. In came two girls together. It was Nicole and her sister Ciska (21). They sat down on the settee. Nicole had her long blond hair in a pony tail. She was dressed in a jeans and a white sweater; a sports-loving girl of thirteen, with a small amount of eye shadow on. The photograph book was put on the table.
"Look at it ", says Nicole, "these were taken when I was only four ". She showed us a photograph of a small young blonde. Ciska leafs through he photographs further. She begins to laugh. "And here is Nicole! When you married Mimi, the cuddly bear, and I executed the marriage as the civil registrar. And here... in you favorite blue skirt. My skirt!', she adds . Nicole' s face lit up at this: "That was such beautiful skirt, as I turned around it twirled around so wonderfully!".
Wanting To Skip Rope.
Niels was ten years old when he and his parents had their first appointment with Professor Cohen. Greet told the professor that Niels had always behaved very girlishly and always played with girls toys. Nicole: "For me was it quite normally. I never thought: I am different to other boys'. I normally found it nicer to play with girls and play girls games." At school, he spent all his time with the girls, and at break times he would skip rope with them. "Nobody found that odd or looked strangely upon it." Ciska: "I began to think about Niels. I knew a homosexual boy in my class. 'He, I thought, was rather like my brother having a tenderness, a dear and gentle manner of behavior that was very different to most other boys.".
Pieces of the puzzle!
Then there was an extended psychological investigation. Four times Niels and his parents returned to the University. The final results confirmed their suspicions. Greet: "Professor Cohen told us that although Niels was still very young, he himself felt that he was actually a girl and knew that he did not feel like other boys." His parents, like Niels, had started to see the pieces of the puzzle falling into place for them. Nicole: "Then at last I began to understand completely. The bed wetting had happened because I myself did not feel right as a boy. At school, I became irritated quite quickly. I could not be the girl I wanted to be. It was awful as I think about it now. In the back of my head I had the idea: I cannot be myself. At home I could escape the name calling, and unpleasantness, and I found that it was not totally silly when I dressed myself as a girl, or when I played with Barbies on my bed. only at school, I felt that I had to restrain myself, so that other boys did not think me too odd, when I talked to the girls about girls' matters".
Partners in adversity!
After the results of the psychological examination became known things moved quite quickly. Nicole was then eleven. They went to a meeting of the Berdache organization. Greet: "When we got there, Niels eyes almost popped out, because there were lots of other children like him." Ciska: "I was also with him and stood looking open mouthed. 'Oh yes', I thought, that girl is actual a boy and that boy is actual a girl. What Niels had got finally had a name - and only then I began to realize that there were many children like this and that it was normal." During that day Niels played with other children, and made contact with others his age. The next day he was reluctant to go to school as a boy. And when he came home, he told me that he was so sad that he had cried at school. Then he says: "Yesterday I could totally be myself".
The Awkward Bit!
Niels wanted to tell everyone at school how he felt, but was nervous about doing it. Greet spoke to the headmistress of the school personally. She suggested that it would be best to tell the parents of the children first so that they could tell their children at home sensibly. So during a parents evening Niels desire to become a girl was publicly mentioned. Greet tells the story:
"After the announcement it was deathly quiet. I stood with my hands sweating. Then two parents began then to clap: How brave of you to tell us this publicly' was their reaction. The next day someone else's mother brought me an apple cake. I never myself felt ashamed for Niels. I was only fearful of him not being understood and accepted. It is only me who really understands about him', I always thought. Maybe people will think that it is not their affair, or that gender is always clear from birth, and should not be changed."
To clear the air about this she wrote a letter, which was printed in the church newsletter. This got very positive reactions. Greet: "Niels has sometimes played the saxophone during a youth service. Sometimes he pinned his hair up girlishly or wore a piece of jewelry. I always felt myself very uncomfortably about this. I could feel the men all thinking: what mother would let her son look so girlish and feminine! Now that they knew about him, and that it was not just a nonsense, I felt so much better."
From Niels To Nicole.
The children in the class also reacted positively when Niels told everyone that he was really a girl. He had lots of questions from his classmates. Some had suspected something all along.
Now it is fully accepted. Immediately after that, Niels rush in to order his first own girls clothes. Nicole: "It was a waistcoat and a short sweater dress adorned with flowers." He also started to grow his hair and chose a girl's name: Nicole. "It was hard to remember to use her new name at first", says Greet, "it felt so strange." I once called her: "Hé, Nicolleke", for a joke.
My husband often made mistakes. Soon after this, I decided that it was time for all the church to see the new 'Nicole' During the summer holiday we would be spending two weeks staying in a friends house. There she was at last to be the real girl Nicole. 'This is me' she said! She got a lot of admiration and compliments for her feminine appearance and behaviour!'.
Treatment!
Nicole gets now medicines to stop any male puberty, though so far her body has not started puberty. This will prevent any beard growth and also stop her voice breaking. There are advantages in delaying SRS until later, although Nicole definitely wants to have her SRS operation as soon as she can. Greet: "When I gave her her first tablet, I still wondered 'Are we are doing the right thing for her?' But we have thought it over long and hard. on a given moment you must make a choice. Until the operation the trial is reversible, they can consequently restore a male Niels, if that is what he wants. At the moment Nicole is very fortunate in her new social roll" After these words are spoken, Nicole looks at her mother with a mixture of pride and love in her look. Ciska breaks the intimate silence: "I have never thought: ' Don't do it.' You do not stick out yourself head above the parapet, than want to change back again, otherwise you undermine yourself. I have great admiration for Nicole. I have watched the whole process, which she has gone through so far. Not that I myself feel the need to change my gender. I realize that I can become who I want to be. I do not need to consider other people's views and opinions. Nicole should be able to be the same"
Teasing.
Despite initial acceptance of her change by her classmates, abuse and teasing are still a continuing phenomenon in Nicole's life. Mostly the problem is with children from other classes that do not know the full story, or have listened to other 'tales'. They sometimes call her names like 'Transvestite. Now she goes to secondary school, and the story soon went round the school ' We have a transvestite in school!' Greet has the sent the parents a letter, but sometimes there are still incidents. "Recently during break at school, two girls came and sat next to me", tells Nicole. "That girl next to me is a really a boy", said one girl to the other, so that I could hear. It is unpleasant that I am always have to justify myself being a girl. Mostly she copes with the abuse very well. She has a few good girlfriends, with whom she shares everything. "They always treat me as a girl and never think otherwise".
Nicole's Bedroom.
On the door of Nicole's room is displayed a mosaic with her name; it was made by her. "I also have one somewhere with Niels on it", she says. She shows us the other plaque and then puts it away again; it is something from her past, not the present. Her room is full of cuddly toys and especially Barbies. "Well I have at least thirty" she says. A black Barbie, a ballerina, even a pregnant Barbie. "Look, as you take the child out of the belly it goes flat".
Impatience and Frustration!
Nicole thinks like a girl even though physically she is still a boy. "I find it quite boring that I have a penis", she says. "I am still in the wrong skin." When she is sixteen she will be able to start hormone treatment and then her breasts will develop. When she is eighteen she will have her operation to remove her penis and create a vagina. That is still five years away. "I find the thought of them cutting me open to make it, quite scary, but the other half of me can't make the five years go fast enough. I get desperate sometimes because it is such a long time to wait! In the meantime I must postpone everything. I fell in love with a boy, but when he found that I still had a penis, he wanted nothing more to do with me. I can understand why the boy might find this repulsive, but it hurt me a great deal. Then the only thing I could do was to go and talk to my friends and have a good cry".
One day I will be a woman!
Once again animated, Nicole says: "I already wear a bra. It has white lace edging around the cups. "Firstly I filled it with padding, but now I have silicone gel pads that are more realistic and giving me a nice bust. Nicole has a dream: "That one day I will be a complete woman and have a family. I know that I cannot have children naturally, but I want to adopt children. I also want to be a famous actress one day."
"What will I do when I am eighteen, and am a complete woman?
I will have a large celebration and.…. fall in love! "
 
NICOLE'S SPEECH TO HER CLASS
"Mummy, I want to become a girl!"
Nicole Roukema (13) was principal guest in a TV program about gender dysphoric children. She decided to tell her class at school about herself and explain what gender dysphoria meant.
Here is the text of her talk:
Gender dysphoria. What is Gender dysphoria? Gender dysphoric boys feel that they are girls and behave as girls. And the other way around, girls that feel they are really boys. I am such boy!
I play with Barbies and other girl's toys, and I wear jewelry. Even when I was only three years old, I already knew that I did not want to be a boy; I pinned up my short hair and wore rings and bracelets and put on skirts. I loved to play with my sister and her Barbies.
Usually boys hate playing with Barbies, but love to play with toy soldiers or with lego-cowboys. I also have lego, but it is lego-witches and princesses. Also I love to play with girls and if not, to be on my own. Boys love to play a sport such as football, but I don't need to tell you about that!
Always when I went to school on my birthday, I had to tell everyone what presents I had been given. Then I always got something I could tell then about, like a book or a game. once l only had a Barbie and I dared not tell about that!. Also, I was often mistaken for girl because I had such high voice, but they knew nothing further. And now I am able to behave as a girl completely, and not have to pretend that I am someone else!
We saw a television program about a boy who dressed as a and played with Barbies. That was when we first began to understood what it was! Consequently when my parents saw this boy Willem, on TV, they came to understand the term 'gender dysphoric', and that this was what I had too! My mother wrote a letter to the NCRV, and they gave her the phone number of the self-help group for parents of gender dysphoric children. Then my mother took me to see Professor Cohen in Utrecht, for evaluation and advice. Professor Cohen sent us questionnaires; for my parents, my teacher and I to fill in.
I had to take all sorts of tests. First of all I had to sit in a room with two way mirrors in it. From the other side you could see in without being seen. That was where Professor Cohen and her two assistants sat. There were toys for a boy and a girl and dress up clothes (I only tried the fancy ones!) The assistants observed me closely as I played with the toys. Then I had to answer questions and complete puzzles, and had several conversations with Professor Cohen. The result was that I was 'genderdysforic'
I had to have blood tests; these are done for all children as they do not yet know why some children are like this and others not. The self-help group for parents is called 'Berdache', but what does this mean? It means third gender, not man, not woman, but in between. The word comes from native north and south-American cultures.
Last year, in May, there was a family day in Utrecht. The Gender dysphoric children and their families met in a playground. That was for me the first time. Maikel said that he would introduce me. We went to the cottages where the other children were, so that I could meet and play with Guido, Valentijn and Jamie.
In the large building were men who had dyed hair and wore make-up. I also saw both Yvette and Jerke from the television program. However that was just one lovely day. The next day, I decided that I should tell everyone at school about me. Through the family day, I have a new friend: Jamie. I have written to him and rung him. When I spoke to him he said that he would like to come and see me. My mother said that he could stay the night, and he came to visit. I am really glad that I have a friend who is just like me.
Footnote:
Before I spoke to the class, my teacher decided that firstly the parents the other children should be told about me and they would tell their children. After that I could make my speech! I assumed that the children would not understand at first, because their parents didn't understand it at all and couldn't explain it properly.
After my speech to my class they sent me a card saying that they me will accept as I am!
Recently I was asked to speak to another group. I was quite nervous, and when I began, I could hear my voice tremble, but the nervousness soon went away. Those still so many who do not know or understand and probably think that I am odd, or queer, when they see me wearing girl's clothes, earrings and nail varnish.
Greet and Nicole Roukema
(Greet is Nicole's mom)
The Situation elsewhere:
Meantime, in most other "advanced countries" the situation regarding early diagnosis and treatment is a very mixed bag. The same services can be accessed by those parents who learn about them, and who are insightful enough and courageous enough to help their child in this way. But most families will not know about these options, or if they did will not visualize the seriousness of forcing a teenager to grow up into the wrong gender and have to make the much more difficult correction later - as an adult.
Jasmijn, age 9 | 
Manon, age 10 | 
Kristel, age 11 | 
Willem, age 12 | 
Valentin, age 13 | 
Jamie, age 14 |
Therefore, many a teen-aged TS girl is confronted with the desperate decision of whether or not to even "tell her parents". Will she find help from them for her transition? Or will she be summarily thrown out onto the streets? She may have no way of guessing the answer to this life and death question. It is still all too common for families to totally reject and excommunicate a TS child who comes out to them and seeks help from them. Even more frequently than with gay children, TG/TS children are often simply "thrown away" by their parents: Expelled from their homes, they are doomed to attempt unsupported early-transitions on their own, often ending up living marginalized lives as prostitutes on the streets of inner-cities.
Even in cases where the parents want to help a child diagnosed with gender identity disorder (GID, which is a term sometimes used for transgenderism/transsexualism), the state may intrude and PREVENT appropriate gender assignment. For example, in a recent case in Ohio, the State took custody of a six-year-old transgender/transsexual girl away from parents who sent "him" to school dressed as a girl. The little child had been diagnosed with GID, and had strongly self-identified as a girl since the age of two. Social workers represented that the child could be cured of this behavior rather than "encouraged" by the parents.
In other cases, the child may be expelled from school for "cross-dressing". TG/TS students may face serious hostility from teachers and administrators who lack a basic understanding about gender identity variations and about how our gender is the most basic underlying component of who we are as a person. For example, at the Georgian Country Day School, a private school in Carrolton, GA, a popular 15 year-old student named Alex McLendon was expelled a few years ago because she would not dress "like a boy" - even though she was diagnosed as having GID and had full parental support for her gender presentation.
 
Take a look at the happiness in the face of Deborah Davis, the pretty young Australian woman in the following photos. At the tender age of 17 she became the youngest Australian TS child to have undergone MtF SRS. Her courageous story was told in Australian Woman's Day in 1998. Try to imagine the joy that Deborah felt at the early release from the gender trap she found herself in. Also try to imagine what might have been in store for Deborah had she grown up in a less-supportive environment.
After looking at the above photos, please ask yourself: What would you do if your own child were transsexual? Would you take her to a psychiatrist and attempt to "cure" her of her "sexual deviance" by "conditioning" or "aversion therapy"? Would you try everything possible to prevent her from transitioning until she is much older, and thereby doom her to having her appearance horribly maimed and masculinized by testosterone? Would you throw her out onto the streets, as so many other parents do to their transsexual children? Or as a loving parent would you visualize the terribly frightened girl inside that young boy's body? And would you love her enough to help her escape from that trap so that she can go on to a full and normal life, as young Deborah did?
For young TS girls who cannot get the support of their parents, there are still many paths to early transition. Of course, some girls are so overwhelmingly compelled to transition that they simply run away to big cities and hit the streets on their own. Others struggle to cautiously wait until they finish high school and can get away from home and be out on their own - either working and making money, or going to college - and then begin their transitions.
Kids who run away to big cities can find some help these days. They can usually locate other kids like themselves and thus at least have some friends for social support, get started on hormones and find entry-level jobs in their new gender. However, many of these kids end up in sex work, with all its risks and dangers of drug abuse, HIV, sexual exploitation and transphobic violence.
Kids who can hang on and wait until they graduate from high school have a much better chance of making it. Many begin working on their transition in secret while still in high school, by learning everything they can from the web and by beginning to plan ahead on how to do it. Some find ways, without anyone knowing, to start on estrogen and anti-androgen hormones while still in high school, and that can greatly improve their long-term transition prospects.
Education as a key to earlier, easier transition and success:
Whatever else they do, TS kids are advised to study very hard while in high school, get the best grades they possibly can, and then try to get into a good college. Transitioning while in college has now become one of the best and easiest paths to a successful early transition, and is an even better path than just going directly into the workforce in an entry-level job and trying to transition on the job there.
Students are very anonymous while in college, much more so than in high school, especially if the college is reasonably far from their hometowns. A TS girl's college classmates will be much more mature, much less "gossipy", and far less insistent on conformity to group norms than her high school classmates. The atmosphere in most modern colleges and universities is very accepting and tolerant of diversity. Very few of a TS girl's classmates will be transphobic, as long as she goes to a modern, mainstream college or university (as opposed to some religious-based school, or a school in a southern "redneck" area, etc.). Also, in most college towns or locales she will find areas for shopping, recreation and socializing that are relatively safe and fun places to hang out, even while in mid-transition.
If at all possible, college-bound TS kids who do not have the support of their parents for transition should try to get a scholarship to college and/or consider going to a community college, state college or state university. That way they will be less dependent financially on their parents, and are more likely to be able to finish school even if their parents find out they are TS and try to stop them from transitioning. By working hard at part-time jobs they can make the extra money needed for hormones and electrolysis, and can get far enough along in their physical feminization to be able to socially transition while in school. The girl can then socially transition and get her ID's changed over one summer, for example between her junior and senior years or between graduation and grad school, and then return to school in the fall without her classmates realizing who she is/was - especially in the anonymous environments of the large state universities. By completing her hormonal and social transition while in college, the TS girl can graduate in her new name and identity. She can then more easily find employment and start her career without having to generally reveal her hormonal and social transition.
That is not to say that transitioning while in college is easy to do. It can be an incredibly scary time. Few colleges and universities have any formal procedures or points of contact for helping transitioning students. Even such basic things as getting student ID's and records changed in a coordinated manner can sometimes be a huge hassle. The girl will need to get her nerve up and go see the various records' offices at her school and tell them that she has changed gender and has a new name. If she passes OK, and if she makes these requests calmly and without too much fear showing, many schools these days will simply accept her gender change at face value and change her records to her new name. However, if she is unlucky and runs into the wrong administrator, she may have to explain her situation in more detail and have letters from a gender counselor, etc. And if she becomes ill or injured in an accident, she may face outing and huge hassles from the college's health service. Nevertheless, it is a lot easier to transition while in college than in most other times and places in life. Even when procedural hassles and outings do occur, they are usually confined to within the university and few others find out about it later.
More and more universities are quietly taking notice that transgendered students are occasionally transitioning. Although most schools don't yet know quite how to deal with this reality, transitioning students who are persistent can usually negotiate the bureaucracies at most schools and eventually get their records changed correctly. once the girl graduates she can start her new life with the option of stealth and without being perpetually followed by rumors and gossip. Then, once she has started in her career and can save some money, she can complete her transition with SRS.
The great obstacle to transition: The challenge of confronting and coping with fear.
People often ask "How were you able to cope with intense fear, and make the hard moves involved in transition back in the 60's?" This question is important , because fear is probably the biggest obstacle to transition, even today. Even a person with intense motivation, positive attitude, effective planning, and an ability to rapidly learn new skills can "stall-out" and fail to transition, if they cannot learn to cope with fear.
Fear causes many TG/TS people to delay for years taking even the smallest steps, such as coming out to someone, making an appointment with a gender counselor, doing some tentative cross-dressing in public, or even going into a store to buy some make-up or women's clothing. Beyond these simple tasks, many TG/TS people over-worry about whether they'll ever pass, whether they can avoid violence, and whether they can face the pain of many surgeries. These fears derive from real concerns. But fear itself cannot be allowed to control your life and block progress towards important goals.
Fear does its greatest damage when a person reduces anxiety by NOT doing something frightening. For example, when someone terrified of public speaking finds a way to avoid giving a talk, the resulting reduction in anxiety feels like a "reward for talk avoidance". NOT doing scary things rapidly becomes habit for such a person, because they reward themselves for not doing things. However, by NOT doing scary things, they may never make progress towards important goals. The only way to break out of such avoidance-behavior is to learn to PUSH through fear and DO things in spite of fear. Then you experience rewards from decisive positive action.
However, this is easier said than done. If you can act while feeling intense fear, bystanders sense your fear and experience great unease. The unease people feel around a frightened TS in transition is like the unease we feel when a public speaker gets "stage-fright". It isn't that they dislike the person, or are bigots - it's just instinctive to feel uneasy around a very frightened person. This "fear-feedback" from bystanders then further frightens the transitioner. Therefore, taking actions when freaked-out doesn't work. Instead, you have to find ways to acclimate to fear and calm it down.
The gender transition experience itself can teach some lessons. By starting out carefully in the initial stages, the beginner can learn how to confront and calm fears before going on to the harder steps. The key is to find modestly fearful things that you MUST DO and CAN DO, and then DO them in a timely, decisive manner. This can help you learn how to calm yourself before going on to harder steps.
The fears and embarrassments of the beginner fade as one makes progress. The accumulating physical changes and the skills learned in the early stages of transition can bring on a cheerful smile, a better attitude, and an eagerness to overcome harder challenges yet ahead. With practice along the way, fear can gradually be contained and replaced with hope, determination and anticipation.
Fear is often heightened by GLBT activism which portrays all TG's / TS's as "victims".
Why are so many young TS people too terrified to admit to anyone that they are transsexual? What causes all this crippling fear?
All young folks remember the strict gender behavior constraints imposed on them as kids. They intuitively sense the risks of transition, and visualize that it would take hard work, gritty fortitude and persistence. However, many young TS's can quietly transition without facing a lot of humiliation or difficulties, especially if they plan their transition well and carry it out calmly with grace and dignity. So why do so many let fear hold them back for years or decades before seeking help?
A lot of fear among young TS's is a side-effect of well-intentioned GLBT activism. Activists work hard to uncover hate crimes and discrimination incidents, and then publicize them widely and dramatically. As a result, TG and TS people are constantly portrayed as "pathetic victims" in the media. Victimization stories are turned into major news articles and movies, furthering the pathetic-victim image of gender-variant people. These stories are intended to demonstrate how despicable such hate crimes are. Emotionally outraged supporters send in contributions, and the activists are able to publicize more hate-crime stories. These efforts have the beneficial effect of alerting society to the outrages that are committed against some TG and TS people.
The problem with all this is that it spotlights the lives of only the small minority of TG/TS people who are victims of violence. The effect is made more harmful by the incorrect assumption that transsexualism is incredibly rare, which it is not. As a result young TS's get the totally false impression that almost ALL people who transition end up as constant targets for harassment and brutality.
Hopefully activists will someday help in building a more balanced, positive, realistic image of the lives of transsexual people. A better balanced image might actually help reduce public hostility towards TG and TS people. It would certainly reduce the level of fear among young TS's.
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